Craciun Fericit!

De Craciun, fii mai bun, fii adevarat!

Aaa...pai nu prea ma pricep la facut urari. Dati un search pe google la "urari de craciun" si le puteti alege pe cele care va plac. Din partea mea...

Craciun Fericit si delectati-va cu un cantecel de Craciun:

Eazy-E - Merry Muthapukkin' Xmas

[editat]
Bulangiii...mi-au sters colinduta! Si le zicea frumos raposatu' Eazy...
[/editat]

si sa nu uitati sa fiti ADEVARATI de ADEVARATI!asa e moda...

Asa da!

Am primit astazi un mass care nu m-a deranjat deloc si, pe deasupra, chiar m-a binedispus. M-a facut sa rad putin.

Si iata minunatul:

Cica se face o comisie mixta guvrnamentala cu Japonia. Acestia se pare ca vor fi viitorii titulari: 1. Nimika Nuymoka 2. Yaspaga Shidute 3. Wreypostu Daybanu 4. Undeypliku Katesparg 5. Skimbaley Inparay 6. Winoakuma Kosuma 7. Furatzara Kutotu 8. Bagabany Labayatu 9. Totkumita Madeskurk 10. Nufurytu Furyo 11.Latrukata Wikushpaga 12. Yopapnumay Kiolanu 13. Bagalaba Panlakoty 14. Opriwatizashi Shipasta 15. Sarylakap Shiterezolwy 16. Yacatpotzy Shybagankont 17. Kulopata Saciordeshty 18. Nashitu Kaloay

Deci se poate.

Imnul Yahoo Messenger-ului / Baietzas - Doua puncte

Ea dati un plei de amuzament!

doua puncte, paranteza, paranteza :))

Cum circula un e-mail

Gmail pune la incercare imaginatia utilizatorilor

Rezultatul:

Genial, genial, atat pot spune.

Sharapova nu e buna la pat

Da, extraordinar. Nu-mi vine sa cred. Muream daca nu aflam asa ceva. Le multumesc din tot sictirul stirilor sportive pentru aceasta informatie extrem de importanta. Va dati seama ce stire de senzatie, mai ales pentru stirile sportive. Incredibil...
Totusi, ma intreb ce mama masii ma intereseaza pe mine daca Sharapova e buna sau nu la pat? Da-o naibii de treaba: la stirile sportive sa fie anuntata o tara intreaga de faptul ca Sharapova NU E BUNA LA PAT! Senzational, tot nu-mi vine sa cred. Ii cred pe bune cand imi spun ca tipa joaca tenis si castiga nu stiu ce turnee, dar totusi, ce treaba are nepriceperea ei in de-ale fu*aiului cu sportul? Sau daca se merge pe ideea ca sexul este un sport, de ce nu o vedem niciodata pe Jenna Jameson la stirile sportive?

"Buna ziua, incepem stirile cu o veste exceptional de extraordinar de buna: Geina Geimson, in fata unui public 500 000 de spectatori a castigat finala turneului de la Womenbledon. Il avem pe reporterul nostru, Ştiritam Pite alaturi de antrenorul acesteia. Pite, esti in direct!
- Buna tipa, pardon ziua, doamnelor singure si domnisoarelor. Il am langa mine pe d-nul antenor Pornel Labareanu, care pana acum s-a zbatut, a tipat, a gesticulat, toate pentru ca Geina sa ne faca aceasta imensa bucurie. Si se pare ca nu a fost in zadar. Domnule regizor, ce parere aveti de prestatia Geinei?
- Uell, iuu nou, aaaa... in soapta: Hai Pitele sa o dam pe romaneste. Stii ca-s varza la engleza.
In primul rand vreau sa spun ca Geina a fost senzationala. A sarit in sus, sau mai bine zis a saltat, a dat din cap de parca asculta rap, s-a miscat dintr-o parte in alta ca o diva...ce mai, a fost senzationala! Ce-i drept, a transpirat putin de pe urma efortului depus, dar nu conteaza, ii da un plus de senzualitate. Cel mai bine cred ca s-a descurcat la saritul cu prajina infipta, saritul pe prajina si la saritura in lungime de gaura.
- Da, intr-adevar, domnule antrenor, Geina a fost senzationala. Asadar, stimati telespectatori, pentru a treia oara consecutiv, Geina a castigat aurul pentru "Cea mai buna la pat". Deea, ai legatura.
Multam Pite. Apropo, ce sexy esti azi. Vo' ceva dupa stiri?Dai mesaj, da?
In continuarea programului, ultimele informatii de la Campionatul Mondial de S ex Oral, cu tot cu clasamentul provizoriu...
.
.
.
.etc
.
si la final, stirea de senzatie:

Desi barbatii o considera foarte sexy si au cele mai patimase fantezii alaturi de ea, fostul iubit al Şarapovei a afirmat ca este dezamagit de prestatia acesteia la pat... Ce zici, Marine? A mai fost stirea asta? Pai cum asa? Si mie de ce nu-mi zice nimeni?A, da stai ca atunci ii ziceam Sharapova. Atuncea, in grupe, cand a fost eliminata atat de usor de Geina. Hai totusi sa mai dam odata stirea. Hai ma... "

Star Wars Gangsta Rap II

It's the V to the A to the D-E-R

Admiral:
This is Admiral Biatch to base camp,
it seems the stormtroopers have gone on strike
and I have no experience with this type of shit.
Who should I call for help?

Vader:
It's the V to the A to the D-E-R (Vader!)
Reconstructin' the Death Star!
With my slick suede suit that's black like tar,
Fucking you up no matter who you are!

Palpatine:
Tell the motherfuckers 'bout the sheer Dark Side!
Pull up on your planet, Death Star drive-by!
And we'll beat the Rebels 'cause their skills ain't shit!

Vader:
And in my TIE Fighter, Zig-zags stay lit!

Yoda:
Oh, shit! Yoda on the scene,
900 year fiend smoking Dagobah green!
Bitches on my tip, like Lando on liquor.

Lando:
Ah, you're just jealous 'cause my black dick's thicker.

Chewbacca:
*Wookie yell*

Lando:
Yo! Tell 'em Chewie, last night
I had Leia all drunk wanting to do me.

Luke:
Shut the fuck up man! Leia's my sister!
The only thing you're getting is a beat-off blister.

Ben Kenobi:
Luke! Use the force before
intercourse, but Luke!
Don't forget! Bitches ain't nothing but hos and tricks!

(Ohh!)

Luke:
Obi-Wan, I'm the top gun! (top gun)
The chosen one, hotter than both suns!
Vader ain't shit, his head's cut up and split!
He's slower than the first Pentium chip!

(Dark Side!)
Vader:
The one who brings remorse to this fucking universe.

(Rebels!)
Luke:
You know we'll fucking win, 'cause we'll fight to the end!

(Dark Side!)
Palpatine:
I can feel the anger dwelling within you!

(Rebels!)
Yoda:
You also feel Vader's dick in you. BIATCH!

*Incoherent Huttese Jabba rap*

Han Solo:
Jabba, you ain't nothing but a fat-ass slug!
Fake gold chains? You sorry-ass thug!
Sittin' in your palace with your blue-headed whore,
trap door to the Rancor. *sound of someone falling*

C3PO:
Oh, my, goodness gracious me!
I'm a gay man's golden fantasy!
Programmed for homo-ecstasy,
ten million forms of gay positioning.
For my golden shower, you must pay a fee,
but R2-D2 gives it up for free. *R2-d2 squeaks*
R2-D2, watch your language!
Always having sex with robotic strangers!

Jar Jar Binks:
Meesa like to drink and smoke all night!
Meesa like to fight and fucka yo wife.
Meesa no care 'cause meesa so dumb.
Meesa will fuck you with me tongue.
Yousa wants a meesa cause meesa wants some.
Yousa wants a meesa cause meesa wants some.
Yousa wants a meesa cause meesa wants some.
Meesa wants some cause meesa wanna cum!

Star Wars Gangsta Rap I

Biaaatch!

De unde vin numele unor masini

Car Acronyms

Daca vreti sa va luati o masina noua sau aveti una si nu stiti de la ce vine numele ei, aceasta lista va va fi de folos:

AUDI : Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
BMW : Brings Me Women
CADILLAC: Crazy and Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
DODGE: Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
DAEWOO: Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
FIAT : Failure in Italian Automotive Technology, Failed Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD : Fix Or Repair Daily, Find On Road Dead
HYUNDAI : Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
JEEP: Just Empty Every Pocket
PORSCHE : Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB : Shape Appears Ass-Backwards, Stop Asking About Brakes
SUBARU : Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually, Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
VOLVO : Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object


DACIA : Daca Ai Cap Ia-ti Alta

pentru naivi, radeti ca nu sunt pe bune!

lista completa poate fi gasita la Automobile Humor

Parodie Harry Potter

Oh...Hermaionii! Iz dat iuu?

Doar pentru elevi

Students Shit

Definitii:

1) Fituica - Te uiti si castigi.

2) Elevul chiulangiu - Tanar si nelinistit.

3) Sedinta cu parintii - Intalnire de gradul III.

4) Dupa sedinta -Spitalul de urgenta.

5) Caiet de teza - Verdict: Crima.

6) Sfarsitul orelor: Am intalnit si romani fericiti.

7) Cancelaria - Cafeneaua groazei.

8) Sala de clasa - Zona Crepusculara.

9) Orele de fizica - La limita imposibilui.

10) Diriginta - Xena, printesa razboinica.

11) Dirigintele - Superman.

12) Catalogul - Adevarul gol-golut.

13) Încheierea mediilor - Memorialul durerii.

14) Chiulul de la ore - Sport la minut.

15) Lucrarea de control - Alba-ca-zapada.

16) Directorul scolii - Inamicul public nr. 1.

17) Seful clasei - Asasinul din umbra.

18) Perioada tezei - Spionaj si contraspionaj.

Din Declaratiile Barbatilor

1. Noi suntem oameni simpli!
2. Cateodata nu ma gandesc la tine... si asta nu este rau;
obisnuieste-te te rog cu asta; nu ma intreba te rog la ce ma
gandesc..., intreaba-ma doar daca esti dispusa sa vorbim despre
politica, filozofie, economie, fotbal, bautura, sex sau masini.
3. Nu are rost sa ma intrebi la ce ma gandesc... 96,5% din timp
barbatii se gandesc la sex; nu, nu suntem obsedati, este pur si
simplu ceeace ne face cel mai mult placere.
4. Daca te rog sa-mi dai painea, nu doresc nimic altceva; nu
este un repros ca painea nu s-ar afla deja pe masa; in exprimarea noastra
nu se ascund nici reprosuri, nici aluzii subtile... da, suntem doar
niste oameni simpli.
5. Daca doresti ceva este suficient sa formulezi intrebarea; noi
nu intelegem intrebari cu aluzii subtile si indirecte; deci
intrebarile indirecte nu dau rezultatul scontat, chiar si cele evidente; spune
te rog exact ceea ce doresti.
6. Daca pui o intrebare la care nu astepti raspuns, nu te mira
ca vine un raspuns la care nu te asteptai.
7. A face cumparaturi nu face nimanui placere... si eu n-o sa
gasesc niciodata placere in asta... exceptand faptul cand alegerea o fac
eu.
8. Cand mergem undeva in vizita, indiferent ce haine porti, iti
stau minunat... o jur!
9. Daca crezi ca esti grasa, probabil asa si este. Nu ma intreba
pe mine... o sa refuz categoric sa dau vreun raspuns.
10. Vineri, sambata, duminica inseamna: multa mancare, prieteni,
fotbal la televizor, bere si maniere proaste; este ca fluxul si
refluxul sau ca ciclul vostru... este inevitabil.
11. Ai destule rochii, bluze, fuste si pantofi... daca plangi in
fata magazinului inseamna ca ma santajezi... sa ma aduci in pragul
ruinii nu este nicidecum o dovada de dragoste.
12. Majoritatea barbatilor nu au decat 3 perechi de pantofi...
cum poate sa-ti vina idea ca as putea avea habar, care din cele 30 de
perechi de pantofi ale tale iti stau mai bine sau se asorteaza cu
noua rochie.
13. Raspunsuri simple ca: DA sau NU sunt absolut suficiente
indiferent de cat de lunga sau complicata a fost intrebarea.
14. Cand ai o problema roaga-ma sa ti-o rezolv si atat; nu ma
ruga sa te compatimesc asa cum o fac prietenele tale.
15. Dureri de cap sau migrene care dureaza 4 saptamani, nu mai
sunt dureri de cap sau migrene. Du-te la doctor.
16. Daca spun ceva ce poate fi interpretat in doua feluri si unul
din ele te nelinisteste sau te face nefericita, cu siguranta ma
refeream la celalalt.
17. Berea ne place asa cum va plac voua gentile... voi nu
intelegeti de ce... si nici noi.
18. Daca te intreb "Ce ai?" si tu imi raspunzi "Nimic!", te voi
crede si ma voi comporta asa ca si cum totul ar fi in cea mai perfecta
ordine.
19. Nu ma intreba: "Ma iubesti?"... fi sigura ca daca n-ar fi
asa, nu as fi cu tine.
20. Regula de baza in cazul celei mai mici indoieli: ia sau
intelege ce este mai simplu.
21. Noi suntem cu adevarat oameni simpli.

Internet & Pc Funny Shit

It's just funny shit...

Pentru obsedati:

1). O rugaciune. Orice treaba trebuie inceputa cu o rugaciune.


Windowsul nostru,
Care esti instalat pe hard,
Deschide-se ferestrele tale,
Vie crash-ul tau
Ca in 95 asa si in 98.
Si zilnicele Servicepacks da-ni le noua,
Si ne iarta partitiile Linux
Asa cum si noi iertam greselile din drivere.
Si nu ne du in ecranul albastru,
Ci izbaveste-ne de conflicte de versiuni
Caci al tau este tot RAM-ul
Si hardul
Si toti hertzii procesorului
In veci vecilor
Alt-F4



2). Doar niste clarificari, pentru cei care nu prea stiu ce inseamna unele prescurtari:

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
GIRO - Garbage In Rubbish Out
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers



3). Top Ten Signs You are an Internet Geek...
10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're

listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"

ADDICTED INTERNET JUNKIE!!!!
1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy-----for a year!!!!!
2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.
3. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."
4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ......instead of ICU!
5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.
6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer...or put it in the bathroom.
7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.
8. Tech support calls YOU for help.
9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."
10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.
11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.
12. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
13. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.
14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.
15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.
16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.
17. You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for awhile.
18. You say......."Where did the time go??"
19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.
20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
21. You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.......
22. You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.
23. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this.... "BRB. Leave your S/N and I'll TTYL...ASAP".
24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ****kisses*****.
25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.
26. You're on the phone and say "BRB".
27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.
28. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead




4). Pentru cei care inca fac confuzii:

Care e diferenta dintre un programator profesionist si unul amator ?
Amatoru' : Crede ca un kb are 1000 de bytes.
Profesionistu' : Crede ca un km are 1024 m.



5). Putina misogineala pentru...misogini.

Femeia-Internet: de cele mai multe ori greu accesibila
Femeia-Server:e mereu ocupata cand ai nevoie de ea
Femeia-Windows: toti stiu ca nu e apta,dar nimeni nu poate trai fara ea
Femeia-Excel: se spune ca poate multe,dar e folosita doar pt.cele mai simple activitati
Femeia-Word: are intotdeauna pregatita o surpriza si nimeni nu o intelege in intregime
Femeia-DOS: toti au avut-o odata,dar azi n-o mai vrea nimeni
Femeia-Virus (si „Sotie“):vine cand o astepti mai putin si consuma toate resursele
Femeia-Scandisk: se stie ca e buna si ca vrea doar sa ajute,darnimeni nu stie precis ce face
Femeia-Screensaver: nu e de folos,dar te binedispune
Femeia-Harddisk:nu uita niciodata nimic
Femeia-Joystick: pricinuieste bataturi in palma si febra musculara la brate
Femeia-Password: crezi ca esti singurul,dar jumatate din populatie o stie
Femeia-User:nu face nimic ca lumea si cere prea mult
Femeia-E-Mail: din 10 lucruri pe care le spune,8 sunt gunoi

De ce un computer este mai de preferat unei femei?
1. Este intotdeauna acolo;
2. Orice ii cumperi vei folosi tu;
3. Nu se supara daca il neglijezi;
4. Nu este o problema deosebita daca priteniii iti fososesc calculatorul;
5. EASY TO TURN ON !

Noul regulament UEFA

It's just Romanian football!

Noul regulament UEFA aplicat echipelor romanesti in cupele europene:

Art.1 Pentru a exista un deplin echilibru valoric in teren, noi vom juca
18 si vom avea dreptul la 6 schimbari.
Art.2 Jucatorii nostrii se vor echipa la fel ca adversarii, derutandu-i
complet. Totodata, vom avea din start justificari pentru pasele gresite
date la adversar.
Art.3 Adversarii vor juca desculti pentru a nu periclita prin taria
suturilor integritatea corporala a portarului nostru si chiar a organelor
de ordine.
Art.4 Atingerea mingii cu mana, capul sau piciorul de catre jucatorii
echipei adverse va fi considerata hent si tratata ca atare.
Art.5 Pentru noi nu va exista notiunea de hent, iar mingea va fi
prevazuta cu manere spre a facilita driblingurile cu mana.
Art.6 Portarul nostru va purta un echipament larg in care sa incapa si
rezerva sa, astfel incat unul va apara o parte a portii, celalalt alta.
Art.7 Portarul lor- pe toata durata partidei- va apara intr-un picior,
cu o mana la spate si legat la ochi.
Art.8 Formatia noastra va juca studiatul sistem "n-o atinge ca te
frige", contracarandu-l pe al lor "baga-l pe fazan la mijloc".
Art.9 Adversarilor nostri la trei goluri inscrise li se va marca un punct
pe tabela de scor, iar noua ni se va socoti gol dupa fiecare doua auturi
si doua faulturi realizate.
Art.10 Fiecare gol marcat de adversari se va solda cu eliminarea
autorului acestuia din teren pe motiv de destabilizare a echilibrului de
pe tabela de marcaj.
Art.11 Daca va fi cazul, vom executa lovitura de 11 metri, de la 4 metri,
iar portarul lor va apara stand intr-o mana (pe cealalta tinand-o la spate conform unui articol precedent), in afara cadrului portii.
Art.12 Noi vom executa cornerul din interiorul careului de 6 metri
advers. Ei nu-l vor executa deloc, oferindu-ne mingea din spirit de
fair-play inteles in mod eronat.
Art.13 Arbitrul de centru va urmari cu atentie jocul, astfel incat la
trei pase consecutive legate de adversari va fluiera joc pasiv,
acordA?ndu-ne lovitura libera directa de la 16 metri.
Art.14 Loviturile libere, directe sau indirecte, le vom executa fara zid,
faze in care cei 10 jucatori de cA?mp ai echipei adverse vor sta aliniati
pe linia de centru a terenului urmarind frumusetea fazei si strigand
portarului lor diferite expresii de incurajare, dupa bunul lui plac.
Art.15 In minutul 90, arbitrul principal ne va acorda o lovitura de
pedeapsa pe care, pentru siguranta, o va executa tot el. Lovitura se va
repeta pana va inscrie.
Art.16 Dupa incheierea jocului, echipa adversa se va alinia in fata unui
zid. Pentru calmarea spiritelor, membrii galeriei noastre vor avea dreptul
la un numar nelimitat de suturi la zid. Arbitrul si observatorul UEFA vor
asista la trageri legati la ochi si ascultand la casti celebrul hit "E bine, bine!". In caz ca suturile sunt anemice, se va folosi un tanc cu
munitie de razboi.

Daca avea Doamne Doamne computer

The Master's Creation Tool

The Genesis:

In the beginning there was the computer. And God said:
C:>Let there be light!
Enter user id.
C:>God
Enter password.
C:>Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:>Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
C:>Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
C:>Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:>Create light
Done.
C:>Run heaven_and_earth
And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 > errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 2.
C:> Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light.
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:>Create firmament
Done.
C:>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 > errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 2.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 3.
C:> Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
place and let the dry land appear and
Too many characters in the specification string. Try again.
C:>Create dry_land
Done.
C:>Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 > errors.
And God looged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 3.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 4.
C:>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:>Create sun_moon_stars
Done.
C:>Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the day
and the moon and stars ruled over the night. And God saw there were 0
errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 4.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 5.
C:>Create fish
Done.
C:>Create fowl
Done.
C:>Create cattle
Done.
C:>Create creepy_things
Done.
C:>Run fish, fowl, cattle, creepy_things
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepth werewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
after its kind.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 5.
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 6.
C:>Now let us make man in our image.
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:>Create man
Done.
C:>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue
it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the
fish in the sea and over every living thing that creepeth upon
the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:>Run multiplication
Execution teminated. 6 errors.
C:>Insert breath
Done.
C:>Run multiplication
Execution teminated. 5 errors.
C:>Move man to Garden of Eden
File Garden of Eden does not exist.
C:>Create Garden.edn
Done.
C:>Run multiplication
Execution teminated. 4 errors.
C:>Copy woman from man
Done.
C:>Run multiplication
Execution teminated. 2 errors.
C:>Create desire
Done.
C:>Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 > errors.
C:>Create freewill
Done.
C:>Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 > errors.
C:>Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:>Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is a inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:>Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 > errors.
C:>Create good, evil
Done.
C:>Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95.
Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 > errors.
C:>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed.
C:>Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:>Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:>Stop
Unrecognizaable command. Try again.
C:>Break
C:>Break
C:>Break
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN
FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES.
PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:>Create new world
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
C:>Destroy earth
Destroy earth: please confirm.
C:>Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8
AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

Girls are evil

Just don't get married!

Multumita matematicii si unor vorbe din popor extrem de des utilizate (lucru care atesta faptul ca toata lumea este de acord cu ele), am ajuns sa detinem dovada suprema: GIRLS ARE EVIL!

I Don't Need Subtitles

What are those, subtitles?

O parodie la felul in care se fac stirile "de senzatie". Asemenea tehnici se mai aplica si pe la noi si nu numai la stiri, ci si la numeroase emisiuni. De exemplu, la o emisiune care era difuzata acum cativa ani pe Antena 1, "Babilonia", un invitat s-a ofticat ca l-a dat afara prezentatoarea si a inceput sa spuna: "mi-ati dat 50 000 ca sa vin aici, la emisiunea voastra si acum ma dati afara asa?"

Gata palavrageala, sa vedem filmuletul: